Photo Matt. My name is Senior Frijoles, also known as Ocho Ocho.  I have been supporting Ben on his last few weeks of racing.  He has been slacking on his el blogo so I am going to update you on his muy caliente adventures with the destroyer.

Racing in Iowa City this year was one night and two days.  Friday night was el loco.  Racers were crossing the finish line covered in more dirt than a drunken frat party foxy mud lucha libre match.  He pedaled his bicicleta muy rapido and finished 11th.  He missed out on his Union Cycliste Internationale point by one place and I gave him a good beating for not going fast enough.    I rubbed his muscles into submission after the savage whipping though to be ready for the next two days.  Saturday and Sunday went well, with good finishes.  The small mountain hurt his legs very much but he did well. 

He did write up something and posted it here, I tried to get it published in my local paper, because he is much faster than most of the local eight year olds, but the paper was very non happy with the bad spelling.  From the sidelines I shouted much encouraging slogans to make him faster and got druken locals to show him their butts with no pants on. It worked, he cycled very close to big time legend Ned Overend for a couple laps, but his superior years bested Ben in the end.  Sunday was very no bueno for me, with cold winds and clouds.  I stayed in the hot tub at the hotel and coached Ben with my long distance race radio.  I encouraged him by telling him the mountain knew how tired he was and to pound it into submission through his pedals.  He said he took a big drink of an energy drink called "Busch Light" on the last lap and he had a very strong finish.  I was proud of his trying.

Seven days later we got on an airo plane-o to go to the epic land of Portland.  I went out and payed many dollars for rain cloths because everyone told me there would be floods in Oregon, but there were no clouds in the sky during our stay.  Very disappointing because I have not seen rain in many days.  It was very cold and there was no hot tub.  I brought Ben a very fantastic-o costume so he could match the epicness of Portland, but he refused to wear it.  He said it was not PRO, even though the costumes we see on the TV where I'm from make the Cross Crusade Reality Show the most popular in the ocho time slot.  He kept asking in a bad voice if I thought "Katie Fuckin' Compton would wear a costume to the USGP?" I kept telling him I could get her one if she forgot hers in Europe.

I have never heard of cyclocross racing on a moto-cross track before, but Ben insisted that he loved it.  He went mucho muy fast off the start line, but it was not fast enough.  He had very much courage though, I insist on beatings of my elite riders instead of massage with muy bueno endings.  It makes them strong like my other elite lucha libre stars.  So as he went in long circles around the course many of the other racers he was passing.  He finished the race in 31st on Saturday which I thought was good and scheduled a special beating.  Sunday was much colder, so I had to wear his costume over my own.  He legs did not give him as fast pedalling power as he wanted, but he still finished good in my heart at 34th.  There were some guys originally from a place called Madison on the course banging on all sorts of garbage cheering for Ben, I like them muy muy bueno.  They could be excellente lucha libre stars if they tried, but my contracts did not interest them very good.

The elite champion match of cyclocross USA nationals was in Bend Oregon.  I made sure to make accommodations at a mountain top mansion in advance so Ben could spend hours on the indoor cycling machine for some emergency altitude training.  He said he wanted to stay with his team mates though close to the course, so I stayed in in the mountains most of the time.  I did come down to watch his match, but I think he might be motivated to tell you about it himself.  He was number 88 and started in the middle of all the fast racers in the supermen category.  He made me much proudo in his racing performance.  I am very excited to start him on his training beatings and death intervals next week at our top secret training camp in the deserts of Morocco.  He will be my money man next year.  My teams attorney Laslo is advising me to talk nothing more.  I need to go get the boob out of my scotch.